It’s simple, recovery to me means hope.
Michael Byrne, author of Poems From A Mod: My Journey Through Trauma, Recovery And Survival’, tells us what recovery means to him.
My illness is Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a bit of a mouthful, but it is a diagnosis based on many traumatic events in my life including abuse as a child, my father was murdered when I was 26 and in 2013 I became a survivor of The Clutha Disaster. I had a devastating breakdown which began in April 2017 and was complete in late January 2018. Since this date I have been in recovery.
So enough of my past, let’s get to what recovery means to me….it’s simple, recovery to me means hope. It means I have hope for the future rather than despair and pain as a result of my past.
As a result of the help from the Write to Recovery group at the Mental Health Network Greater Glasgow, I began to be able to articulate my pain and emotions through poetry. This became very cathartic for me, and still is to this day.
My ability to articulate my pain through poetry culminated in me writing a book of poetry called This free book about my breakdown was released on the 5th Anniversary of The Clutha Disaster on the 29th November 2018.
This book of poems would not have been possible without the help of Write to Recovery and Stigma Free Lanarkshire. Stigma Free Lanarkshire developed the artwork and facilitated the release. To have the help, support and encouragement of both these organisations has been overwhelming and in part has been responsible for giving me hope for the future.
I now belief I have a value, a future and I’m worth something but most of all I have hope. Below is a poem I wrote last year, appropriately named ‘Hope.’ I hope you enjoy it and can perhaps relate to it.
Hope
What is life without hope?
It’s like a shower without soap
Without hope there is nothing
We all need to want something
What is life without hope?
It’s like the sea without boats
Without hope there is nothing
We all need to love something
What is life without hope?
It’s like freezing in winter without a coat
Without hope there is nothing
We all need to need something
What is life without hope?
It’s like elections without a vote
Without hope there is nothing
We all need to stand for something
What is life without hope?
It’s like swimming and not staying afloat
Without hope there is nothing
We all need to believe in something
What is life without hope?
It’s like hanging without a rope
Without hope there is nothing
We all need to love something
What is life without hope?
It’s like having CPTSD and not being able to cope
Without hope there is nothing
We all need to wake up for something
Is there hope without life?
Is there life without hope?
